Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It Doesn't Take Long

It Doesn't Take Long
How to Drive Your Mother Crazy in 24 Hours or Less Without Even Really Trying
by the D. Children

Start with a boot sticking out from under the kitchen counter,

and the other one in the middle of the living room, next to the pillows that are not allowed off the couches. (A sticker left upside down on the carpet, waiting to be stepped on, also adds a nice touch.)

Try leaving one magazine open and another wedged behind the cushion of the only chair,

ponytail elastics and headbands on the couch,

and a stool pulled up suspiciously close to the cherry tomatoes.
Be sure to store a ball next to the couch,

and don't pick up the toilet paper you dropped on the bathroom floor.
(Don't flush, either.)

Leave a toy egg and a lego car by mom's bathroom sink,

a pair of pink flipflops under the table,

books all over the kitchen counters,

and a stuffed manatee on the old dining room table.

That ought to do the trick!
(It works sometimes with our mom, anyway!)